I quote Tim Ferriss a lot. But, I’m constantly reminded of a line from his book The Four Hour Workweek: “slow meals = life.”
Almost one year ago, my flatmates and I tried a little experiment. What would happen if we picked a country at random and organised a dinner party centered around that country's cuisine? And what would happen if we invited some of the most interesting and entrepreneurial minds to every dinner?
More than 20 countries later (ranging from obvious favourites such as Italy and Greece to some hidden gems like Samoa and Botswana) and between 5-8 unique guests at every meal, we had created the chance to learn from nearly 100 founders, creators, and ambitious individuals in a very unique way.
I was always surprised by the people who showed up; on Jamaican night I met a highly successful marketing guru who grew his classic car instagram account to over 100k followers. On Dominican Republic night we had a podcast host, the founder of our uni’s Blockchain Society and someone who knows more about Web3 than is healthy, and a guy who has made a fortune renting a fleet of hot tubs across Scotland. And finally, Colombia night inspired a long conversation around the gut-biome and how the right bacteria can enhance your productivity.
There was something magical that happened both when we gathered close friends and interesting strangers around the dinner table. I noticed an opening of minds and a conversational flow that I hadn’t seen at other social engagements. I used to think one-on-one coffees or drinks were the best way to get to know someone below the surface level. And yet, none of those compared to a single dinner that we hosted. Why?
The same reason why ‘the family that eats together, stays together.’ Something about food, and specifically sharing it (and even more specifically, sharing it over a longer period of time in a frequent fashion) ignites a greater depth of conversation. This fact didn’t really occur to me until Tim Ferriss brought it up.
His source:
“From Daniel Gilbert of Harvard to Martin Seligman of Princeton, the ‘happiness’ (self-reported well-being) researchers seem to agree on one thing: Mealtime with friends and loved ones is a direct predictor of well-being.”
His instruction:
“Have at least one 2-to-3-hour dinner… per week—yes, 2–3 hours—with those who make you smile and feel good.”
My best guess is that sharing dinners with high-quality people achieves this ‘well-being’ metric for two major reasons:
Creating a safe space: Homes are safe, welcoming places. More so than a bar or restaurant. Also, food = a natural buffer during silences in conversation. This probably leads to less formality and reduced stress upon meeting new people.
Creating a sense of belonging: We all need community. Shared meals can create a sense of belonging and security, and provide a time to share joys and challenges.
We’re not the best cooks in the world. Nowhere near. But, we haven’t given anyone food poisoning yet— and one person did say our Brazilian Feijoada was the best they’ve ever had (was it the only one? probs). Come over for one, and maybe you’ll agree that slow meals = life.