When I first saw her I was captivated by her innocent eyes which portrayed gentle and kind agency. The colour of her skin and her outfit was in pleasant contrast to my style and nudged me to explore her beauty. I introduced myself by revealing the irony of my name and my intentions to which she smiled and lend out an invitation with a glance and subtle toss of the hair.
Discarding my past narratives and identity, I read her with awe and genuine curiosity, ready to inject my veins with her novelty. Emotionally unattached, like a true scientist, with whatever I was to discover.
Curiosity is a fundamental piece in any relationship and it stands opposite to reactivity which reinforces the cycle of narrow repetition, rapid escalation of emotions, attack and defence.
Meanwhile, curiosity is actively engaging with the unknown, letting go your individuality and entering emphatically and respectively into their story. Letting go off your rationality, needs and just focusing on their narrative.
My dark black hair and brown skin catalysed her desire for this new love. Something about my nature reminded her of her deep teenage desires which she was eager to be possessed by. Meanwhile her foreign eyes weakened my composure beyond repair. It was like we'd loved each other long before we ever met.
Neural circuits that support attachment to a caregiver early life, particularly those involving reward, emotional regulation, and social bonding, are reactivated and repurposed for adult romantic love. Hence, in a lot of facets our love is childlike.